Hints for non-law students who have to be around law students during finals

Classes will be officially finished for the semester next Thursday, so I thought I’d prepare a helpful little guide for all of those significant others, close friends, and family members that are unfortunate enough to have to be in contact with law students (e.g. ME) during finals.

1. Do not nickname your law student wife/daughter/sister/friend “Nagzilla” while she is studying for finals. It doesn’t matter how cute you say it or if it is simply supposed to be an affectionate pet name, she is stressed, bitchy and is not going to take it well.
2. Do not ask your law student to do chores after she’s been at the library for the last 15 hours. If the house is dirty it will stay dirty for another two weeks. If the garbage needs to be taken out, take it out yourself. If there are sticks in the yard that need to be picked up, well, they aren’t going anywhere in the next week, so it can wait.
3. In the event that the law student is actually home for dinner do not make her decide what she wants to eat. Making any decisions that are not related to issue-spotting at this point will only make her burst into tears.
4. Do not try to make any plans during finals period that include your law student. If it’s important she’ll try to make it, but don’t expect anything. Any time that you get to spend with your law student during finals is simply a bonus, so be grateful for what you can get.
5. Do make her dinner and/or pack her a lunch. Throw a few snacks on the counter that she can take to school with her. Law students diets—while most are not that good to begin—get even worse during finals. By prepping snacks for them you’ll help prevent them from living off the vending machines for the next week.
6. Do provide her with caffeine. Either leave a fresh-brewed pot of tea, or charge up a Starbucks card for her use.
7. Don’t comment on the last time she bathed, how bad she smells, or how terrible her hair looks. Just let her do her thing.
8. Better yet, don’t even talk to her unless she talks to you first. Her mind is probably somewhere else the entire time you are talking to her, so when you ask a question and she replies, “huh?” it will just leave you mad and her confused. Best not to talk to her unless she talks to you first—because at least then you’ll know she’s engaged in the conversation.
9. Do understand that the outside world, for the most part, ceases to exist for a law student during finals. Finals are a time students have to learn an entire semester’s material in a few short days—grades in classes are determined by what happens during these 48- or 72-hour time spans. Law students are on emotional, mental and physical roller coasters. Let them ride it out and simply be there for them after its over, preferably with martini in hand.

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