Meditation

Monday, December 22, 2008

Happy (more) snow day

The softest thing on earth
overtakes the hardest thing on earth.
The non-existent overtakes even that
which has no interstices.
From this one recognizes the value of non-action.

-- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, verse 43

Monday, December 15, 2008

Meditation - Days 3 & 4

I’m checking in to let you all know that my meditation experiment is still going strong. I just haven’t had much time to write in the last few days thanks to finals. (I’ll be done on Friday. Yay!)

Saturday’s meditation was a bit of a challenge. I thought I would have 15 minutes to meditate in the morning before going to school to study, but Nick’s dad (who was sharing a ride with Nick and me to Seattle that morning) arrived at our house earlier than I expected. I ended my meditation after only 3 minutes. Not thinking that was long enough, I committed to finding time later in the day. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a chance to meditate again until right before bed. True to my promise though, I set the timer for 5 minutes and did it. Whew!

Sunday was the complete opposite; I had a lovely 15 minute meditation – my longest yet! I spent the first 5 minutes centering my mind and the last 10 minutes in mindful meditation, just focusing on my breath.

Before starting, I thought a bit about the boredom problem, specifically when and why I get bored. When I get bored is easy to pinpoint: it happens when I start to crave some new experience (something other than focusing on my breath) or when my attention is no longer distracted by something (and I can’t invent a distraction). When I’m not distracted or can’t find a new experience, I get bored.

The more important question, probably, is whether I should do anything about it. As a society we don’t value “slack time” very much, but embracing slack time and the resultant boredom is probably good for me. If I can’t tune into my own boredom without trying to make it go away, how can I expect to become sensitive to my other emotions and feelings? Winning the little battle against boredom in order to feel good in the moment then is a limited strategy. Like a long-term investor, I should probably just ride the ups and downs without getting too neurotic about it.

So, what to do? I’m going to continue my commitment to the 30 days of meditation (bored or not) and simply pay attention to the quality of the experience – without judgment or the desire to change it.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Meditation - Day 2

Duration: 15 minutes

Type of meditation: Mirra’s heart-centered meditation snacks

Reflections: Meditation was more challenging today - in part because Nick was home and making noises that distracted me. I also had a hard time stopping my brain from reflecting on what I was feeling and putting it into words so that I could record it here later. (Oh the irony!) I really like the feeling in my head and body after I spend just a few minutes meditating. It’s hard to describe, but if you can imagine a pool of water that is completely calm, that comes close.

I also got bored today, about 3/4 of the way through. Has that ever happened to anyone? Rather than stopping, I refocused on my breath and the light in my heart-center and the feeling seemed to go away. When the three bells chimed, signaling the end of my meditation, I wasn’t sure I was done. Interesting.

Let’s see how the rest of the day goes!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Meditation - Day 1

I’ve had this intention to make meditation a regular part of my daily life, but haven’t quite been able to pull it off. Then it hit me that maybe a blog-experiment was just what I needed to motivate me to try practicing every day. I’m not sure if “blog-experiment” is an actual concept or not, but I got the idea from Steve Pavlina.

He hosts a thought-provoking blog devoted to personal development. One of the interesting things he does is experiment on himself - testing self-improvement ideas like polyphasic sleep, raw diets, juice feasting, etc. - to see if the benefits that are touted by the various believers/practitioners actually work for him. He commits to a period of time and blogs about his experience. Some experiments, like the raw diet, are successful, while others, like juice feasting, don’t work for him.

The Plan

I am purposefully not going to set any rules regarding the length of time I have to meditate each day, the location, or type of meditation. I just have to meditate, for some length, each day at least until January 9th. I will keep track of my meditations to see how it affects me.

Depending on reader interest, I could blog about this experience as I go along or just share a summary every few days. I realize this may seem a very radical to some people, so I’m not sure how many people would care to read about my experience with it. When I do log it publicly, I’ll of course be brutally honest in sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

If you happen to meditate on a regular basis especially for longer than 30 days, I’d welcome your feedback and advice, either via the comments (public) or the contact form (private).

Pre-meditation preparation

I found a small tool online called Buddha Bells, to help me time my meditation. That way I can set a time limit and stick to it without checking my watch to see how much longer I have to go. Vipassana Santa Cruz offers a similar, albeit simpler timer on their website, which would also work.

I also did some research on meditation posture. When I have meditated in the past, I’ve experienced all sorts of uncomfortable side effects, such as loosing sensation in my legs and a sharp pain appearing in my upper back between my shoulder blades. Rather than invest in a zafu, meditation bench, or other elaborate setup, I’ve decided for the time being at least to meditate sitting in a chair. This morning, I raised the back of my chair about an inch, using a book and placed a rolled blanket across my lap to support my hands and keep them from sliding down my legs. It was unusual at first, considering how much I sit in a “flat” chair, but I seemed to get used to it.

Day 1

Duration: 20 minutes

Type of meditation: Listening to a chant (10 minutes), Mirra’s heart-centered meditation snacks (10 minutes)

Reflections: It was really hard to relax my muscles during the chant and focus on the music. Eventually, I gave up trying to “meditate” while the chant was going. I opened my eyes and read the text as the song went along. When it was done, I closed my eyes again and did six mental centerings and three hip centerings. There was still time left, so I simply concentrated on my breath. When my mind wandered, as it’s apt to do, I refocused on my breath.

I had that familiar pain between my shoulder blades when I started. Interestingly, it seemed to melt as I did the mental centerings.

I meditated in our home office, next to the computer, and found the glow of the screen a bit distracting. I’m going to cover it with a scarf next time.

Now, how do I feel? I certainly feel calmer after my brief meditation. I also have a strong desire to ride my bike to school - something I knew I should do, but wasn’t sure I wanted to do before my meditation. If I notice anything else worth blogging about, I’ll post an update later.

Update: As I was packing up to ride this morning, I was thinking about where I might have left my cell phone charger. (I haven’t been able to find it for several days.) Out of nowhere, I just knew that it was in my red backpack. Nick suggested the other day that it was in a bag or maybe in my car. I put two and two together and realized that I had emptied my car out last week and used a red backpack to transport things into the house. When I looked in the backpack, there it was! A result of meditation? I can’t say for sure, but I was happy to find the charger.

I also noticed that I was much less agitated on the bike ride to school about the bad behaviors of others (talking on cell phones while driving, for example). I usually have a desire to yell at someone to hang up and drive. Today, I actually thought to myself: “He knows what he is doing is illegal. There’s not much I can do to change that, is there?” And then I didn’t want to say anything anymore. Go figure.